


Do You Ever Feel Alone in a Crowded Room?

by anyothergirl415



Series: Loveland High verse [8]
Category: CW Network RPF, Real Person Fiction, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Familial Abuse, M/M, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-09
Updated: 2010-08-09
Packaged: 2017-10-26 23:59:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/289327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyothergirl415/pseuds/anyothergirl415
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s time for the school play and somehow Jared manages to convince Chad to get involved. Some of the repercussions are clearly unexpected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do You Ever Feel Alone in a Crowded Room?

Technically it was Jared’s fault.

If Chad had a nickel for every time that was the case, he’d be a rich man. And sure as hell wouldn’t be stuck _here_ \- sitting in the auditorium with a bunch of people he didn’t care for, waiting to find out information on the school play.

The fucking school play. Seriously. How the hell did Chad let himself get roped into things like this?

“Don’t look so pissed off Chad, it’s gonna be fun! And think of all the time we’ll get to spend together!”

Oh yeah, that’s how. Jared fucking Padalecki and his whole _let’s do the school play so you and Jensen can bond and we’ll all live happily ever after._ Leave it to Jared to not be content with Jensen and Chad being civilized to each other. No, they had to be best buds too.

“I’m not acting in this thing man. I’ll do like, sets or something but I swear to god if you try and get me on that stage I’ll-“

Whatever else Chad had left to say – likely some threat that would be wasted on Jared anyway – died on his lips when the side door swung open. In walked the morning sun. Oh alright, maybe Chad was getting into the dramatic mood.

Christian Kane. Because _of course_ he would be the one directing this year’s play. Really, Chad’s luck had to be about this good.

“Afternoon everyone, it’s nice to see such a good turn out.” Kane smiled at them, eyes sweeping across the rows of students. They lingered on Chad for a moment and he registered surprise across Kane’s features.

That might have to do with Chad’s complete lack of thespian talent. Or maybe it was the fact that Chad had been dutifully avoiding him for the past week.

“You didn’t tell me Kane was running this.” Chad hissed into Jared’s ear, pulling his attention away from the place he was staring, where Jensen and his knees touched.

Jared gave him a bright, toothy grin. “Now you’re interested huh?”

That was too tough of a question for Chad to answer. Yeah, he certainly liked the idea of another excuse to stare at Kane but this wouldn’t aid in his attempts to stay off the teacher’s radar. Technically, Chad wasn’t sure what he wanted. This _Kane thing_ had him more than a little stuck.

The main issues were clear no matter how much they tangled up Chad’s mind. He hadn’t really promised Kane that they’d be something but he might have suggested it. He had, at least hinted at it. And really Chad couldn’t escape the slight hurt he’d seen in Kane’s eyes whenever he attempted to get close and Chad bolted. The things keeping Chad back though, were clear and evident on his body.

No matter what the man might say, how could Chad let him see the extent of his damage? And, truthfully, Chad was fairly certain he didn’t deserve any of Kane’s feelings. The sooner the man stopped feeling them, the sooner Chad could accept the fact that he really was alone in the world he couldn’t escape.

Maybe though, Chad didn’t want him to stop feeling anything at all.

"So I know you've all eagerly been waiting to find out what we're doing this year." Kane had been passing out hand outs for awhile but now he leaned casually back against the stage.

Was it crazy to be jealous of a stage? Chad wanted those hands on him. He wanted those thighs bare beneath his finger tips. This was a bad idea.

" _Into the Woods_. It's a perfect piece with lots of big parts. I encourage everyone to audition. If you're not interested in being on stage we have lots of behind the scenes stuff. Also I'll be looking for an assistant director so let me know if you're interested."

There was no way Chad was imagining the moment Kane's eyes settled on his. Even Jared noticed, bumping his arm with an elbow. There was another reason Chad was keeping his distance from Kane, Jared was more observant than most people realized. "Shut it man." Chad hissed preemptively.

"So I have a signup sheet here for auditions. We'll do it alphabetical starting Thursday and going Friday if needed. This other list is for people interested in set designs." Kane set the pages on the stage pushing away from the surface. "Go ahead and have at it. I'll be over here if you have questions."

Almost instantly everyone was up and clambering for the signup sheets. Chad rolled his eyes because seriously? Kane had just said it would be alphabetical; there was no need to rush to signup. “Tell me again why I should do this?” Chad sighed, looking over at Jared who would hopefully have a good enough answer to keep him there.

“Because it’ll be fun?” Jared suggested, grinning over at him.

“It’ll look good on college applications?” Jensen suggested with an equally matching grin, cementing the fact that the duo were a dangerous combination.

“And because you love me.” Jared concluded with a nod, reaching out to ruffle Chad’s hair. “Do the set thing.”

“Or you could offer to be assistant director.” Jensen smirked, leading the way out of the rows of seats.

There were a few people already talking to Kane and Chad felt the slight bite of jealousy, reminding himself how ridiculous it was to feel that way a moment later. He supposed this was a deciding moment, to avoid Kane or not to, that was the question. _God_ clearly this drama thing was bad for Chad’s internal dialogue. “Why aren’t you making the chocolate twins do this?”

The chocolate twins were Mike and Misha. Chad had gone through a few nicknames for the couple before settling on that one, the M&M thing too much to pass up on. He also wanted to know their secret for getting out of Jared’s big bonding experiment.

“We tried to talk them into it but Misha said he can’t for some reason and Mike is too attached to his hip to go along with anything that would take time away from _them_.”

Jensen shrugged and grabbed Jared’s arm, pulling him toward the stage. “You’re signing up for auditions right?”

“Obviously.” Jared laughed, bumping with purpose into Jensen as they moved into the line for signups.

Once more Chad’s eyes slid over to Kane. Only this time there was no one there and Kane was walking his way. _Shit_. If he left now then there would be no way of mistaking the reason. Kane would know Chad was avoiding him. For whatever the reason Chad couldn’t let himself disappoint the man like that.

“I didn’t think you’d be interested in the play.” Kane said quietly as he stepped up to him, keeping a respectable three feet between them and scanning the room with supposed interest.

“Jared insisted upon it.” Chad mumbled and rubbed along his arm, staring down at Kane’s boots. “I’ll probably just do set stuff.”

“Be my assistant director.” Kane said in a rush, finally looking up at Chad as his gaze softened. “It’ll be a fair bit of work; you’ll have to spend a lot of time here after school.”

Chad knew what wasn’t being said. Kane was offering him his own sort of excuse not to be at home. It might also have meant Kane wanted an excuse to spend some time with him and that made Chad smile and nod. “Okay.” He agreed before he could even remind himself why he was avoiding quality one on one time with the teacher.

“Yeah?” Kane grinned and any hope of Chad back tracking vanished. “That’s great Chad. Seriously.”

There was something so genuine about Kane’s smile, Chad kind of wanted to step forward and kiss him right there. That would _not_ be a good idea. So he just smiled back at Kane before ducking his head down in a look that might be shy. If Chad were the shy type. And around Kane? He most definitely was.

  


“What monologue are you going to use to audition?” Jensen tilted his head slightly up to his boyfriend, swinging their linked hands between them casually with each step. He really liked holding hands with Jared; it was one of the highlights of his day.

“I’m not sure. I feel like maybe everyone will do something from a well know play, like Shakespeare or something. So I think I should do something from a different thing. Research time I suppose.” Jensen laughed, head falling back with his amusement. “What do you think Chad?”

Beside Jared Chad walked, though his head was turned down and his hands were buried deep in his pockets. He looked a million miles away from the conversation. Jared was always good at pulling him back in though, because Jared was amazing like that. “Kane asked me to be assistant director.”

There was something about that, Chad didn’t sound nearly as exciting as Jensen thought it should be. After all, if he had a crush on a teacher then that teacher asked him to go out of his way to spend time together… well, that was pretty obvious. “Is that a bad thing?” Jensen asked quietly, dipping around Jared to look at the blond. There were still old wounds there but he was trying, for his boyfriend’s sake.

Chad looked up and he seemed mildly surprised that Jensen was asking. Or something. Jensen wasn’t really schooled in the facial expressions of Murray outside the usual - _annoyed at the world_. “It’s complicated.”

“Ah, the typical facebook status relationship.” Jared sighed dramatically and shook his head. Then what he’d said seemed to catch up with him and his eyes widened. “Uh, not that it’s a relationship.”

“It’s not.” Chad said quietly and frowned, kicking along the sidewalk. “Jared you should do a monologue from a movie. Like, Braveheart or something.”

“Oh yeah ‘cause I totally want to look like Mel Gibson up there.” Jared snorted and his steps slowed as they approached their block. “But movie would be a good idea. Looks like a good night for googling.”

Jensen stopped because Jared did and looked over, watching his boyfriend watch Chad staring at his house. This was one of those moments when Jensen felt like something was happening he didn’t know about. It was weird to be out of the loop but it wasn’t all that uncommon. They were all still trying to figure out how they fell into place in each other’s lives. “I’m going to do the speech from Trainspotting.” He offered with a slight smile. “Maybe a few other pieces.”

“That movie is fucked up.” Chad laughed quietly and stepped backward, heading in the direction of his house. “See you guys later.”

Jensen would never understand what made Chad suddenly welcome him with open arms. Seriously, he wasn’t complaining or anything but where did it come from? Didn’t they hate each other just a few weeks ago? He was pretty sure they did. But then, he’d held a ridiculous childish crush against Jared a few weeks ago too and here he was, holding his hand.

“Wanna help me choose a speech?” Jared asked with a grin and Jensen was nodding before he’d even finished.

It amused him how they did this, always coming up with excuses to spend time together. Help with the homework, watching a movie, whatever. It was never just assumed that they’d end up in one place for however long until dinner and likely together afterward. Maybe they’d get there one day too.

Jared led the way through his house, up the stairs and into his room. Sometimes Jensen would follow him in and flashback to his childhood, to all the days spent running up those stairs and hiding from their older brother’s in the safety of their bedrooms. It never failed to make Jensen grin. “How many people have you kissed?” Jensen asked curiously, slipping off his shoes.

“W-what?” Jared sputtered and stepped back, blinking a few times. “Seriously?”

Looking up Jensen couldn’t help grinning. “Dude, it’s not that big of a deal. I’m not stupid, I don’t think you’re like, totally virgin. I’m not totally virgin. I’ve kissed guys before, lots of them.”

“Lots?” Jared squeaked and dropped down on his bed. Jensen began to rethink the idea of talking about this at all.

“Well no, not lots. But I mean like, four or five. Maybe six. Like, seriously kissing. Making out. And I’ve fooled around with a couple. I kissed Mary Wood too, that was, awkward.” Jensen laughed softly and moved slowly across the room to sit beside Jared, slowly reaching out for his hand. “I’m sorry; we don’t have to talk about this.”

“No I mean, it’s okay. We can do the ex thing.” Jared smiled tentatively at him and squeezed his hand. “But I mean, you are a virgin right? You haven’t gone all the way?”

“No, I haven’t.” Jensen shook his head. “I kind of almost did. I mean, I was going to once but I stopped. Because I just had this idea. Man, it’s stupid.” Somehow Jared had turned this all back to him which was unfair. “Are you a virgin?”

“Yeah.” Jared nodded and grinned at Jensen. “You’re the only guy I’ve kissed or done anything with. Sandy and I kind of had a thing last year.”

Jensen knew about it. Their _kind of thing_ was actually pretty serious from what Jensen had known. Whether that wasn’t true or Jared was down playing it he didn’t know. He wasn’t sure he wanted too. “But you two never…”

“No. I guess like, neither of us wanted to rush into it you know? Chad was all eager about losing the virginity thing; I seriously think he lost it at fifteen, maybe younger. But that just seemed, not so good.” Jared shrugged, rolling his lip between his teeth uncertainly.

“Remember our first kiss?” Jensen asked quietly and looked down at the carpet like he could make them as children appear there on the ground under the sleeping bag. Jared squeezed his hand and they sat in quiet for a long moment. When Jensen looked back up at his boyfriend the boy seemed to be thinking something similar. He thought. “I wanted my first time to be special like that. Not that, I mean, I’d never really imagined it would be with you but. Special.”

“I did.” Jared sighed softly and shrugged. “I imagined it would be with you. Jen, I. You know, I’ve been like, really into you for so long. Maybe even before I knew I liked guys. Because I like girl’s too. I also sort of thought everyone was like that.”

“In our world? Seems like a lot of people are. Both Mike and I just like guys though. Mike says Misha likes girls too. Then there’s Chad, who likes Kane so obviously both.” Jensen wet his lips and thought about Jared’s words. “How could you like me if you knew I didn’t even like you?”

“Because I always knew it was me who had to fix it. I just, I’m not good at that stuff.” Jared shrugged then pushed up off the bed, heading for the closet. He pulled the door open and dug through things before coming back, setting a shoe box on Jensen’s lap. “I’ve never gotten rid of this stuff. It used to be up on the board but I took them down ‘cause I didn’t want you to see. I was um, embarrassed.”

Jensen’s hands shook slightly when he pulled the top of the box open, staring down at the torn pieces of paper. Tears pricked along his eyes and he fingered the papers, pulling them up slowly. “I have mine too. Yours I mean. I have all the things.” Jensen looked up at Jared and grinned. “We could put them together and see how they fit together.”

“We’ll have to make a scrapbook about it.” Jared murmured and leaned closer, dipping down to press a gentle kiss to Jensen’s lips. “See, maybe I always knew you liked me, even if you tried not to.”

“Maybe.” Jensen laughed and set the lid back over the box, handing it back to Jared. “You should definitely put them back up.”

Jared nodded and set the box to the side, scooting back to press his side to Jensen’s. “We have a chance now right?”

“Definitely.” Jensen beamed up at him and leaned close for another kiss. “Can I ask you something?”

“Possibly.” Jared scrunched his face up and ruffled Jensen’s hair, pushing off the bed to head for the computer. “Am I going to regret it?”

“No.” Jensen didn’t think so, it didn’t seem like that bad, just curiosity. “Why did you suddenly apologize and stuff? Why is Chad being so supportive? I thought he hated me.”

“That’s more than one something.” Jared pointed out as he turned the computer on. He spun in his chair and slowly fixed his eyes on Jensen. “Jen, I think you should know something about Chad.”

Jensen knew this was the big something, the secret to Chad. He’d suspected for awhile that there was something, Jensen was kind of scared to learn it. “He’s not like, dying or something right?”

He was in no way reassured by the way Jared refused to meet his eyes and sighed, staring down at the floor. “Maybe. I mean, he’s not sick. But. His dad, he’s really fucked up you know? He drinks a lot and he just- sometimes, Chad suffers from that.”

“Suffers?” Jensen frowned and leaned forward until his forearms rested on his thighs. “Suffers how?”

Jared rolled back to the computer so he could click on the internet browser, drumming his fingers along the desk. Jensen didn’t try and push it because things were suddenly a little clearer, in the way that they weren’t at all. It was no longer a laughing matter and Jensen wasn’t completely sure how he knew but maybe it was Jared’s stance speaking for him.

“I see things sometimes you know? Bruises, the way he winces. We don’t really talk about it because he won’t, I know. I could ask but I think he’d get mad. So he just acts this way, he gives off this cold attitude because.” Jared sighed and pushed back until he was facing Jensen, finally meeting his gaze once more. “I think he’s scared Jen. Like, really scared. I think he’s in a lot of danger in that house but he doesn’t know how to escape it.”

“Bruises,” Jensen whispered and blinked a few times, letting Jared’s revelation sink in. “You mean like, his dad abuses him?”

“I think so.” Jared exhaled shakily and pushed away from the chair, coming to sit beside Jensen again and dragging a hand up through his hair.

“Jesus.” Jensen swallowed thickly, laying a hand low on Jared’s back. “Shouldn’t we tell someone? If Chad’s life is in danger shouldn’t we talk to someone about it?”

“I’ve thought about it, I’ve gotten close.” Jared leaned into him like the weight of the confession was draining him. “But, Chad won’t even talk to me about it you know? What if I tell someone and they look into it and he lies and says it’s not true? But then they confront his dad, think about how pissed off his dad will be. I could literally kill Chad by telling someone. And you know, I’ve only caught glimpses of the bruises, I want to tell people about it but I feel like, I could put Chad in danger by doing it.”

“Yeah but isn’t it worth the risk?” Jensen pursed his lips, slowly shaking his head. He’d never thought about anything so serious before. It felt like more than they should have to deal with at their age, more than Chad should have to deal with ever. “Even if he hated you for telling Jared, you’re his best friend. And I’m just barely his friend and I can’t just, you know, sit here and let him continue to live that life.”

Jared frowned and scratched along his forehead for a long moment. “Who do we tell Jen? I’ve been just as confused about that. What’s the right path to do down? Maybe we should just talk to Chad first. Maybe he’ll talk about it if we confront him together.”

Jensen nodded and it was a silent agreement to not talk about it anymore. That didn’t mean Jensen could stop thinking about it. All the little pieces of Chad, they were coming together to reveal more than Jensen had ever anticipated. Even when Jared forced the subject to something else, when he was smiling again and trying to pick out a monologue, Jensen couldn’t help wondering how he handled knowing. Maybe sometimes it was easier to not think about the truth.

  


“Mr. Kane? Can I talk to you for a moment?” Jared poked his head into the classroom, looking around at the empty desks before settling his gaze on his teacher.

“Hey Jared, come on in.” Mr. Kane smiled and went back to sorting through things on his desk, pausing when Jared stopped in front of him but didn’t speak. “Is there something I can help you with?”

Chad was going to kill him for being here he was pretty sure. But ever since he told Jensen the night before about the secret he knew, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. There was no question he should have told someone about it awhile ago but he did want to talk to Chad first. Every time he so much as got close to the subject Chad vehemently denied anything was happening. So if he couldn’t get Chad to admit the truth, maybe an adult could do something he couldn’t.

“Can I talk to you about Chad?” Jared asked quietly and his heart flipped weirdly when Mr. Kane’s eyes widened. Jared was pretty damn sure something was happening there but he was almost more terrified to address that then Chad’s home issues. “It’s not about – It’s just.” Jared sighed and shifted from foot to foot before turning to grab a chair and dragging it to the side of Mr. Kane’s desk. “I think he’s in danger. Actually, I’m pretty sure he is.”

The surprise melted off Mr. Kane’s face and he sighed, folding his hands together on top of the desk. “In danger?”

“Yeah, it’s, at home.” Jared had stayed up far too late the night before trying to figure out how to tell Mr. Kane this, how to say it and still be believed. “I’m pretty sure his dad is, hurting him.”

Mr. Kane seemed to struggle with his emotions for a moment, jaw clenching, nostrils flaring. Jared watched his hands tighten into fists and realization dawned on him, stomach churning unpleasantly.

“You know.” Jared whispered and scooted back instinctively, not sure if he felt hurt or annoyed or betrayed. The teacher should know better, if he cared for Chad at all he should have told someone, saved him. “How can you just let him stay there? How could you leave anyone in that place?”

Jared didn’t feel any better to see Mr. Kane’s slightly hurt look in response to his words. “It’s, complicated Jared. But I do care for Chad. I don’t want him to be there in that place but I can only do so much. I’m trying.”

“You’re a _teacher_. Don’t they take you seriously about these kinds of claims? You could tell them I told. Or, or I could tell them. There has to be a way to save Chad and I-“

“Shut the fuck up.” Chad’s voice was a cold hiss and Jared was so surprised he nearly flew out of the chair, rounding on his friend.

“Chad.” Jared whispered and stepped closer, flinching when Chad stepped back. “Don’t. Please don’t be mad at me. I was just looking out for you. I just don’t want you to be hurt anymore.”

“It’s not true.” Chad spat and shook his head roughly. “None of its true. You don’t even know what you’re talking about so just- so. Stop. Stop talking about me. I don’t need you to look out for me.”

“Chad, enough.” Mr. Kane was standing now and stepping forward – Jared had kind of forgotten he was there. “You don’t need to talk to Jared like that.”

“Don’t you stick up for him.” Chad glared at Mr. Kane for a long moment before stepping back. “I swear to god I will never speak to either of you again if you- just. Just a few more months. That’s all I need. That’s it. Don’t fuck that up for me.”

With that Chad was turning and leaving, disappearing through the door a whole lot louder than he’d entered. Mr. Kane moved quickly, like he was going to follow, but Jared reached out and grabbed his arm. “I think maybe I should.”

Mr. Kane hesitated for a moment and slowly nodded. “Jared, you know, I want to…”

“I. Well, I’m not sure how much I want to know.” Jared smiled weakly at his teacher before dropping his hand and sighing, heading for the door and after his friend. It wasn’t like he was immature – okay maybe a little – but seriously he could only take so much at a time. Right now making sure things were okay with Chad was the priority. The whole Mr. Kane situation would have to wait.

Chad was heading out the front doors and Jared weaved past the students, resisting calling out to his friend. He passed Mike, Misha and Jensen – all who gave him confused looks – but didn’t stop. He let Chad get out of the parking lot and away from anyone who might hear before jogging to catch up, almost reaching out to grab his arm but resisting. “Chad, stop.”

“Why do you think I haven’t stopped yet Jared? I’m not interested in talking.” Chad spoke over his shoulder, slowing his pace but not stopping.

“Chad, I won’t make you or anything but just- you could hear me out a little. Seriously. Just stop for a second.” Jared wasn’t going to let this go by anymore. Even if Chad refused to address the issue he had some things he needed to say. “Just tell me why.”

“Why what?” Chad muttered, pace slowing once more. Jared had his interest perked at least.

“Why won’t you let us help? It could all be over, just like that.” Jared dropped his voice, stopping abruptly when Chad skid to a halt and spun around.

“Don’t you get it Jared? That’s the point. It would all be _over_.” Chad pointed vigorously at the high school. “You think they’d care what happened to me? Really? I’d get taken away from here, thrown in some stupid system until I turned eighteen and I would lose _everything_. You and all your stupid ridiculousness. The maybe friends I kind of have. Christian and I don’t even have him completely yet. That’s it. It’s all I have and the rest of my life sucks and if I lost those things than that’s _it_.”

Jared was shocked. He didn’t know where to begin processing everything Chad had blurted out. The tears on Chad’s face, the way he thought he had nothing, the reasons he was holding on. None of that came out though. “Christian?” He said softly, lips twitching in a slight smile.

“Really? That?” Chad huffed and shook his head, wiping angrily at his eyes. “Jared, I get it. I know you want to help. You feel bad, guilty, whatever. But don’t okay? I’ve dealt with this since I was a little kid. No one helped me then, I don’t need help now.”

Chad’s words hit Jared like a punch in the gut, left him reeling in a way he hadn’t anticipated. Since he was a little _kid_. “God. Chad,” Jared whispered and stepped closer, touching his arm tentatively.

“Stop it. Stop _this_.” Chad whispered, voice tight. Jared noticed the slight wince on his face when he pulled his arms across his chest. “It only works if you don’t ask, if you don’t talk about it. And I don’t talk about it. Seven months until we graduate Jared, that’s it. Seven months out of seventeen years, I can handle it. But not if you keep pushing.”

This was the closest Jared had ever felt to Chad and yet there was that wall, always there, always to tall to get across. Jared hated that he couldn’t push it, he wanted to be there for Chad and make things just a little bit better. But, that wasn’t what Chad wanted so what choice did he have.

Sighing softly, Jared stepped back and Chad’s stance slowly relaxed. “Seriously though. Christian?”

Chad’s fingers slid up through his hair and he sighed softly, shaking his head. “That’s another thing we’re not talking about.”

“Don’t you think one of these days you’ll just blow up from all the secrets?” Jared asked quietly, glancing over his shoulder. It was starting to snow and he dug his hands in his pockets, mildly relieved to spot Jensen, Mike and Misha heading their way.

“Don’t you ever worry about exploding into a fucking rainbows and ponies from your sheer level of gay?” Chad shot back and grinned at Jared, the previous conversation wiped away like it had never been addressed. Such was the norm with Chad, Jared only hoped it was really okay because the tightness in his chest was suggesting otherwise.

  


There was a groan rising up in Chad’s throat but he fought against it, laying his fingers over his eyes for a long moment. These auditions were _terrible_. At least the last ten had been. The first six or so had seemed okay but _god_ if he had to sit through another horrible rendition of a Shakespearean monologue he was going to shoot himself in the head. Did these kids seriously think the only way to prove acting skills was by quoting Shakespeare?

“I think my brain might be melting.” Kane muttered low and soft against his ear, the words sending tingles down his spine even if they made him grin.

“You’re the one who let them choose audition pieces.” Chad said quietly back and tilted his head toward Kane’s. It was dark in the auditorium, all the lights fixed up on the stage, and even though they weren’t alone Chad felt the illusion of privacy.

Kane’s eyes slid between his down to his lips and back up, small smile playing along his mouth. “You’re right. Next time I should make them read from the script.”

It didn’t seem to matter that they were talking through the audition – there was no way Jennie Holmes was getting a part anyway – and Chad’s heart was fluttering in a way he’d been avoiding for too long. Suddenly all the reasons he had for keeping his distance from the teacher seemed really stupid. He swayed forward and just barely brushed his lips along Kane’s before he could help himself.

A hand settled warm and heavy on his thigh, squeezing softly. “Chad,” Kane whispered against his lips and inhaled shakily. “We can’t do this here.”

Clearly there was no arguing that matter, even if Chad wanted to. The risks were far too great to be measured. “I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you.” Chad said quietly, glancing once at the stage before looking back through the darkness at Kane.

“You can make it up to me sometime.” Kane murmured and pressed another soft kiss to his cheek before settling back.

Chad let himself bask in the feelings of happiness for awhile. He didn’t often, hardly ever, and the last few days had been the strangest whirlwind of emotions he couldn’t place. This though, he could handle it and it wasn’t even a bad thing he had to deal with. Chad was maybe more grateful for that than he could say.

  


“Can the J’s be the princes? Cinderella’s and Rapunzels? That idea is hilarious.” Chad laughed at the thought, shifting closer to Kane on the couch. Here he was again, at the teacher’s house, but this time was different. They were picking out the cast so it was a weird blur of school and not. But Chad thought it felt just a little normal.

“I would find that amusing.” Kane nodded and laughed. He was Christian here though; Chad liked the ability to call him that. “Are you and Jared good now then?”

Chad had certainly been trying not to talk about that whole thing. He knew Christian was curious and maybe the man knew him well enough by now not to push things but the desire for information was clear on his face. “We talked about things, yeah.”

“He was trying to help. He doesn’t like to see you suffering anymore than I do.” Christian said softly, laying his hand on Chad’s back and rubbing softly. “You know, there’s other options Chad, to get you out of there.”

A long, suffering sigh fell from Chad’s lips and he looked over at his teacher, trying not to instantly bristle like he would any other time. “I told you I don’t want to lose the things I have. I can deal for just a little while longer.”

“But maybe you don’t have to lose them. There’s foster homes around here, you wouldn’t necessarily have to give it all up.” There was definitely a tone of apprehension to Christian’s words.

It made Chad a little sad that Christian expected the blow out. “It’s not just those things.” He admitted, accepting the fact that he’d have to tell Christian more. “My dad- it’s. It’s only me you know? Just me. But, if I’m not there, then. My mom. She’d take the brunt of it. And if I left like that? It would be even worse.”

Christian frowned and slid his arm around Chad, pulling him into his side. “You’re not going to be there forever. You can’t protect her and you shouldn’t have to. You’re too young for this life.”

“But maybe there’s still time to talk to her. Maybe if I leave on good terms, she can get out too. And you know, it’s really not all that bad. It’s been better.” That was a lie, a complete and total untruth, but Chad kept his gaze away in hopes that Christian wouldn’t notice.

“You know, there’s no way to get better if you don’t let someone help you.” Christian whispered, leaning closer to press his lips to Chad’s shoulder.

For awhile Chad simply sat there, half leaning against Christian and drawing in a warmth and comfort he’d never felt before. Here in this place he could pretend that this was his world, his happy little life. Maybe one day he wouldn’t have to pretend but for now, it was all he could do. “You won’t tell anyone will you?”

Christian didn’t answer but Chad felt the negative shake of his head against his shoulder. What hurt most was that Chad knew Christian couldn’t tell. If it came down to it, Chad wasn’t sure if he’d rat out the teacher should he tell authorities about the abuse, and he didn’t want to know. But that was something hanging between them. Christian could never fess up because, if he did, he’d be putting his very freedom on the line. Men went to jail for corrupting their students, some sacrifices weren’t worth the risk.

Caught by the guilt at having such a blackmail device against the man he cared so much for, Chad sought to erase it. He turned along the couch and slid over Christian’s lap, leaning into him so their lips could meet. It would never be this good, kissing someone else; Chad knew he was ruined for it. Christian’s lips were strong and soft, moving against his with gentle ease.

Strong hands cupped low over his spine, tangled up into his hair, and Chad moaned, wanting to experience this for the rest of his life. They wouldn’t go any further tonight, Chad knew Christian was going to take it beyond slow after the last time and for now Chad was content just to kiss and press against him. Everything else in his life was always rushing by in a blur, Chad wanted to savor this.

  


“Princes!” Jared grinned and lifted his hand from the paper, spinning around to face Jensen. “We’re going to be Princes together! That’s awesome!”

Jensen laughed and nodded, stepping back with his boyfriend so others could push their way forward to the posted cast list. “I think we’ll have a lot of good scenes together. That’s going to be epic.”

“Did you choose our roles?” Jared asked Chad, grinning over at him and nudging against his side.

“Yup. Well I mean, Ch- Kane had the final say and all but I suggested it. Believe it or not but I’m kind of excited about the whole thing. It’s going to be cool.” Chad shrugged, obviously trying to make his remark sound casual.

Jensen – who had heard the whole story of the almost fall out and now had a bit of a soft spot for Chad he’d never imagined having – bumped into his other side. “Figures you’d get all into the drama. You’re going to thrive on the assistant director responsibility I’m sure.”

Chad laughed and pulled his phone from his pocket, scrolling for a moment before looking back up. “I’m gonna boss you two around like none other. You’re gonna regret forcing me into the thing.”

“Nah, it’ll just make us all the more close.” Jared was beaming, practically glowing so bright it lit up the hallway. He slid in between them and hooked arms over Chad and Jensen’s shoulders, leading them down the hallway. “So let’s talk about costumes here because I sure as hell am not wearing tights.”

Both Chad and Jensen laughed at this, having no real choice but to let Jared guide them through the mass of swarming students. Jensen wondered if this was how it always should have been. Up ahead he could see Mike and Misha with their heads together, talking quietly about something. It was weird to think back to the beginning of the year and how different things were. This had never been what he expected from his Senior year but really? He couldn’t complain.


End file.
